Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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