you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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