My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
