she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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