uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
