Porn is love you can see.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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