im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
