I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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