.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
