Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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