Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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