I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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