p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
