Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize