how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
