That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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