I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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