Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
