Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
