Sponge bath it is.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
