It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
