her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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