remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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