I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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