So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
