I love black thongs
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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