You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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