He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
