And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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