It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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