I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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