Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
