the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
