Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
