there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
