I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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