nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
