well you can't waste a boner
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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