How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
