just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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