you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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