The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
