i may or may not be watching the land before time
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
