I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
