Fuck appropriateness.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
