drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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