Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
