Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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