Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
