You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
