Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
