Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
