We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
