return my video game
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
