out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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