Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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