EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
