i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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