Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
