I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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