Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
